Why Me?
by Jinzouningen
Summary: Vexen and Demyx get stuck on a mission together, and things go crazy! Contains: Horror movies, prank calling, and Vexen getting REALLY mad.
1. Intro and Horror Movies

AN:  
JK: AGH! I HAVE WRITER'S BLOCK ON BUBBLEGUM!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

> > > > > >

"WHAT? No, anything but that!" Vexen was on his knees at the Superior's feet. "I'll do anything!"

"Vexen, stand up. I'm not changing my mind. Demyx, stop pouting." Xemnas replied.

"But-" Demyx began.

"But nothing. Get going." Xemnas pointed at the door. Both trudged out.

"Don't you DARE touch anything." Vexen warned, climbing into the cockpit of the Gummi Ship.

"Scout's-"

"Don't even tell me."

"But-"

"No."

"I-"

"No!"

"Just-"

"NO!"

"Listen-"

"What part of 'NO' don't you understand?"

"The N and O." Demyx answered. "Can't we teleport?"

"No."

"Can I take some movies?"

"Yes."

"SWEET!" Demyx screamed, running out of the room. He came back in with an armful of movies. Vexen checked them and sighed.

"No horror movies. You remember the _Nightmare On Elm Street_ incident? You couldn't sleep for a week!"

"But-"

"But nothing."

"This is all I have!"

"Put them back."

"I have a musical!"

"_Little Shop Of Horrors_!" Vexen said, reading the box. "Look closely Demyx, HORRORS!"

"But…but…" Demyx's eyes filled with tears. "It's funny…"

(No! Can't resist! Too cute!) "Okay, fine."

"YAY!" Demyx yelled. For the fist 3 hours, Demyx sat watching _Steven King's IT_. Vexen glanced at the screen and flinched.

(How can he like this shit?) Vexen thought. Demyx looked like he was hit by Dead Lights the way he was staring at the screen.

(Bill! No! It's an illusion!) Demyx almost screamed out loud. Vexen saw him flinch toward the end.

"Ewww… THAT'S IT? Ewww…." Demyx said, clearly disgusted. Vexen rolled his eyes.

-Four Horror Movies And A Very Terrified Demyx Later-

"…I'm not falling asleep tonight…" Demyx muttered.

"I TOLD YOU!" Vexen screamed. "Would you listen? No…No one respects their elders these days…"

"Put the emphasis on elders, old man!" Demyx said, trying not to laugh.

"Don't make me pull over!"

"Good God…you act like I'm really misbehaving. You haven't seen anything yet, old man."

"Demyx!"

"What? It's true! You said so yourself! You're an old man!"

"DEMYX!"

"Old man, old man, old man…" Demyx chanted over and over.

"You're asking for it, young man."

"Ooooh…" Demyx said, his voice full of mock fear. "I'm shaking in my 'I Love Rock n' Roll' boxer shorts!"

"…Okay…I really didn't have to know what kind of boxers you wear…"

AN:  
JK: Okay. Demyx gets really bored next, and Vexen gets mad! Later!


	2. Demyx Gets Sent To His Room

AN:  
JK: Writer's block SUCKS! I can't think of anything funny! Argh! Okay.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

> > > > > >

Vexen looked at the hyper musician sitting next to him and flinched.

(He's…AIR GUITARING!) Vexen thought. ( And-what's it called?-head banging!) He glared at Demyx, who was indeed air guitaring and head banging to a song on his trusty mp3 player. "Demyx!" Vexen said, removing one of Demyx's clip-on headphones. "What are you listening to?"

"Lacuna Coil!" Demyx said.

"What?"

"Lacuna Coil!" Demyx said again. "Here, listen."

_"Destiny, flying high above…" _A male voice sang.

"How can you stand that shit?" Vexen yelled.

"Old people have no taste." Demyx said, running a gloved hand through his hair.

"That does it!" Vexen screamed. "Give me that...that...whatever it's called!"

"Mp3 player?"

"Yes." Vexen answered, holding his hand out. Reluctantly, Demyx handed the scientist his trusty mp3 player. Vexen put it in his pocket.

"You can have this back when you start behaving." Vexen said, returning his attention to driving. Demyx whimpered and looked at the ceiling.

_"I'd cross the desert to be with you. I miss you, I miss you."_ Demyx sang. _"I heard the rumors they all were true. I need you, I need you."_

"Demyx…" Vexen began.

_"Oooooh... Next to me, Next to me. Oooooh... Next to me, Next to me."_

"Demyx!"

_"I'll take off my make-up, I'll stop and listen. I am alive now, I watch my head spin. I'll take off my make-up, I'll stop and listen. I am alive now, I watch my head spin."_

"DEMYX!"

_"I'm in love with things you can't define, And I'm in love with things you cannot buy. All for you, the one thing I know's true. All for you, take me and renew"  
_

"Demyx, stop singing about your burning passion for Kitchi!" Vexen said.

"WHAT?" Demyx screamed. "I DON'T HAVE A BURNING PASSION FOR KITCHI! SHE'S JUST MY FRIEND!" Vexen's eyes lit up at the thought of tormenting Demyx.

"Oh, don't deny it. Everyone knows! Your thoughts are corrupted with her face! You drown in her eyes! You dream of having her warm, soft lips pressed against yours!" Demyx recoiled in horror.

"YOU PERVERT!" Demyx screamed, punching the scientist so hard he flew out of the chair. The musician climbed into the driver's seat. "He's gonna be so mad when he wakes up…" Demyx said to no one in particular. "Wait…" Number nine looked at the controls longingly. "Xemnas keeps revoking my driver's license…" He shrugged. "Oh, to hell with Xemnas! I'm gonna drive the ship!"

-About Nine Minutes Later-

Vexen was jolted awake. The gummi ship was going in several different directions, and the scientist turned a shade of red that matched Axel's hair when he saw who was driving.

"What's this do? What's that do?" Demyx asked, pushing every button he could find in the gummi ship.

"Demyx! Stop it!" Vexen yelled, pushing Demyx off the controls. "Xemnas is gonna hear about this…" Demyx fell on his knees at Vexen's feet.

"Don'ttellltheSuperiorI'lldoanythingyousaypleasepleasehavemercy!" Demyx begged. Vexen reached down and smacked Demyx hard across the mouth.

"You're hysterical." The scientist said when he saw Demyx's tear-filled eyes. "Now, calmer. Tell me again."

"Don't tell the Superior! I'll do anything you say! Please, please have mercy!" The musician begged again. Vexen cocked an eyebrow.

"Anything?" He asked.

"I…well…as long as it doesn't involve any confessions or romance of any kind."

"Alright." He pointed at a door that was painted aqua. "Since this is the Organization's gummi ship, that means you have a room on it."

"Okay…where're we goin' with this?"

"Go to your room. Stay there until I tell you you can come out." He glared at Demyx. "Let me make this perfectly clear: No. Noise. At. All."

"But-"

"You said anything. Go."

"Yes, sir…" Demyx muttered, walking to his room. "Oh, yeah. Don't tell me I don't respect my elders! I called you 'sir'." Vexen stormed over to Demyx, picked him up, and tossed him in his room.

"Sit. Stay. You know what to do and what NOT to do." The now very pissed off scientist said. Demyx started to protest, but Vexen slammed the door.

"…Well..." Demyx said, shifting his shoulders around."…this is gonna suck…"

> > > > >

AN:  
JK: Okay. So, Demyx wasn't sent to his room until the end, but whatever!The first song was part of _Swamped_ by _Lacuna Coil._ The song Demyx sang was _Rumors _by _Waking Ashland_. I like torturing people, but what Vexen was doing to Demyx, the whole 'burning passion for Kitchi' thing came from a comic strip called _Calvin and Hobbes_. Poor Demyx…oh, well! Ah, yes. The 'What's this do? What's that do?' thing _from Invader ZIM_. Ididn't mention that until a kind reveiwer reminded me! Thanks! (Hands cookie) Bye, now!


	3. Jumping On The Bed And Calling Kitchi

AN:

JK: Oy…I hate writer's block…my mom won't let me near sugar either…dammit…oh well!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Kitchi.

> > > >

Vexen was enjoying the quiet he'd manage to achieve by sending Demyx to his room and telling him that he would come and get him later.

"Ahh…quiet at-" He began. He was cut off by a strange springing noise coming from Demyx's room. "What the…?" He put the gummi ship in temporary auto-pilot. "Demyx, what in Dark Dive are you doing?" He asked, opening the door to Demyx's room.

"Hi, Vexy!" Demyx said, jumping on his bed.

"Demyx! Stop that immediately!" Vexen yelled.

"Can I come out now?"

"No. You just earned about another two hours."

"Shit!" Demyx cursed, losing his footing and falling off the bed. "Whoa!"

"Demyx? Are you alright?" Vexen asked, running over to the musician. "This is why people tell you not to jump on the bed! Now find something safe and quiet to do!"

"Yes sir…" Demyx muttered. When Vexen left, Demyx flipped his cell phone open. "I know! I'll call Kitchi!" He said, pushing the call button in his phonebook.

-In Kitchi's Room-

Kitchi was laying on the bed and reading a magazine when her cell phone rang.

_"Hey, Mr. Wonderful! Oh, you're so incredible!"_ The phone sang.

"Oh! Must be Ixi-Nii!" She said excitedly, picking her phone up. "Yo?"

"Hey, lover! Guess who?"

"Demyx."

"Yep!"

"I knew it was you. I have the song _Mr. Wonderful _programmed into my phone to go off every time you call. What's up, sugar?"

"Ah, Vexen sent me to my room and told me to do something safe and quiet to do. Got any ideas?"

"Ouch. Bummer…this sounds crazy, but why don't you just behave?"

"…I'm sorry, lover. I think I had some water in my ears. WHAT did you say?"

"Nothing. Well, I dunno what you should do. Oops! I'm going to miss a meeting!"

"So?"

"Well, if I don't go…some other random member will break my door down and carry/drag me kicking and screaming to the meeting."

"Oh. Later babe!"

"Bye, sweetie!" Kitchi said, then hung up. "Damn…" She checked her wall clock and smirked. "Three, two, one."

"KITCHI!" Axel screamed, breaking her door down.

"Right on time."

-Back In Demyx's Room-

Demyx put his phone away and sighed.

"Damn meetings…oh, well." He glanced at the clock. "I guess I'll just take a nap. And then, and only then, will I stop talking to myself!" The musician walked over to the bed, laid down, and fell asleep.

-Two Hours Later-

Vexen looked at the clock on the wall.

(Well, he hasn't made any noise for the past two hours. I guess I'll let him out.) The scientist put the gummi ship on temporary auto-pilot and walked to Demyx's room. "Demyx? You can come out now." Vexen said, opening the door to Demyx's room. "Awww…" He crooned, seeing Demyx out like a light. (He looks so innocent when he's asleep…but only when he's asleep! I'd better not wake him.) He left Demyx in his room and reset the gummi ship to manual.

-About An Hour Later-

"Vexen?" Demyx yawned, walking out of his room. Vexen had left the door open to let Demyx know that he could come out when he woke up. "What happened?"

"You fell asleep."

"So?"

"You looked so peaceful and I didn't have the heart to wake you."

"You don't have a heart at all." Demyx said, walking over to the seats and sitting in shotgun. Vexen snarled something inaudible. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Oooh! You said something nasty, didn't you? Well? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

"Demyx, I'm about to use you as a test subject for my next experiment."

"Hmph! Scientists! Well... In your case...hmph! Old scientists!"

"Demyx!"

"Sorry…"

AN:  
JK: My favorite chapter is coming next! Oh yes. When Demyx said, 'And then, and only then, will I stop talking to myself!' I was using a line from Dib from Invader ZIM. Oh, well. The ringtone Kitchi had programmed was _Mr.Wonderful_ from DDR.Bye!


	4. British Accents And Magical Fruits

AN:  
JK: DEMYX IS FINALY A CHARACTER IN THE CHARACTER CATIGORY! WHOOT! Ahh…um…ah, yes. So sorry. My computer was experiencing technical difficulties, and Sotto forgot to tell you faithful readers.

Sotto: I'm to busy restraining Dr. Amy Schneider!

Dr. Amy Schneider: 4077th MASH is full of psychos!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Kitchi.

> > > >

"I say, old bean…" Demyx said, adjusting his monocle and sipping his tea. "Do stop glaring at me like that." Vexen's lower eyelid twitched at his new nickname, which happened to be a magical fruit.

"Demyx, must you call me a magical fruit?"

"Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more-"

"DEMYX!" Vexen yelled, slapping his hand over Demyx's mouth. "TOO MUCH INNAPROPREATE HUMOR!" He sat back down in the driver's chair. "How old is the author? Seven?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Agh! Oh, bother! I do believe I've dropped my monocle!" Demyx said, dropping on his knees and groping around on the floor for his monocle. "Ah, here it is!" The now-British musician said, putting the monocle back over his eye.

"No more Monty Python for you…"

"I say-"

"SHUT UP!"

"…meep…" Demyx said, scooting away from the scientist and taking off his monocle. "V-Vexen?"

"What?" Vexen growled.

"Don't yell at me." The musician whimpered, tears filling his eyes. "Please…"

"OH, FOR-" Vexen screamed, then sighed. "Alright, alright. Stop crying." He reached over and rubbed Demyx's back.

"Vexen?"

"Yes?"

"Can I call someone?"

"Sure."

"Thanks." The musician flipped his cell phone back open. "Okay…Kitchi!"

-Meeting Room-  
Kitchi sighed.

"I'm bored!"

"Shh!" Roxas whispered.

"Hmph…"

_"Hey, Mr. Wonderful! Oh, you're so incredible!"_ Kitchi's cell phone sang.

"Ah! Dammit!" She ran out of the room and answered her phone. "Yo!"

"Kit? I'm bored. What do I do?"

"Prank phone call or something. Oops! H-Hey! Put me down you sonuva…Sorry! Gotta go!"

-Gummi Ship-

Demyx hung up and sighed. "Those meetings last forever!"

"Demyx? You realize because of time differences, that the meeting Kitchi's in is actually tomorrow's."

"AGH!"

> > > >

AN:  
JK: The funny chapter's comin' next! WHOOT! Okay, bye.


	5. Prank Phone Calls Pt 1

AN:  
JK: Gimme a WHOOT WHOOT!  
All My Faithful Readers (If you seriously yell this while reading this fic, I'll give you a cookie): WHOOT WHOOT!  
JK: Thank you! (Hands cookie) Alright! Can you say 'prank phone calls'?

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Kitchi.

> > > > > >

Xigbar walked in the meeting room and dropped Kitchi back in her seat.

"Who was it?" Xemnas asked teasingly. "Your boyfriend?"

"…"

"Kit?" Roxas asked, shaking the Ghost Member. Suddenly, his cell phone rang. "Ack! Sorry!" He yelled, running out of the room. "Hello?"

"Excuse me, but is your refrigerator running?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"You'd better hurry and catch it!"

"Ohmigod! Thanks!" Roxas screamed, hanging up and running into the meeting room. "Guys! Help me catch the refrigerator! It's running away!" The panicky number XIII screamed. Everyone in the room started laughing.

"Roxas!" Larxene giggled. "You got prank phone called!"

"What? Oh, crap!" Roxas sighed. "Wonder who it was?"

"Do you have caller I.D.?" Kitchi asked, pulling herself up off the floor.

"No. Actually, none of us do."

"I thought all cell phones did!"

"You think?" Axel said suddenly, completely shocked. "YOU have a brain?"

"WHAT? You…you…JERK!" Kitchi screamed, jumping out of her chair and tackling Axel, punching him in the face repeatedly.

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!" Xigbar screamed, dragging Kitchi off Axel. Suddenly, Larxene's phone rang.

"Argh!" She yelled, running out of the room. "Hello?" She spat.

"Ah, hello ma'am. This is Tony's Pizza Parlor calling to tell you that your twelve hundred pizzas are ready-"

"What? I didn't order twelve hundred pizzas! That'll go straight to my thighs!"

"…But…It's right here! Your name is Larxene, right?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Great! That'll be five million munny." The voice said. Larxene hung up, frustrated. She stormed back in the meeting room.

"Prank call." She snarled. Suddenly, Marluxia's phone rang.

"Crap!" He yelled, running out of the room. "Yeah?"

"Excuse me sir, but your incredibly tight leather pants just came in."

"Oh, goodie! I've been waiting for them! They ARE hot pink, right?"

"O.o." The voice on the other end hung up!

"Hello?" Marluxia walked back in and shrugged. Suddenly, Luxord's phone rang.

"Oh, fer-" He yelled, running out of the room. "What?"

"Hi. I'm calling from the magic store-" Luxord hung up and stormed back in.

"Prank. Call." He said angrily.

"Oh, shit." Kitchi muttered. (I never knew he'd call Organization XIII…)

-Meanwhile, Back On The Gummi Ship-

"Hello?" Demyx asked. "Ah, dammit! He hung up!"

"Demyx?" Vexen asked, knocking on his bedroom door. "Are you okay?"

"Sheesh! Can't you leave me alone for five seconds, old man?"

"DEMYX!"

"…meep…"

> > > > >

AN:  
JK: End of part one! Part two of Prank Phone Calls will be next. Later!


	6. Prank Phone Calls Pt 2

AN:  
JK: Okay! Pt. 2 of prank phone calls! First up, SORA!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Kitchi.

> > > > >

Sora sighed. There'd been no heartless to fight off and now he was bored. Suddenly, his cell phone rang.

"Hello?" He asked. Suddenly, Yuffie tripped and dropped the pepper she was carrying and it hit Sora in the face, causing him to sneeze.

"Bless you. Is your nose running?" The person on the other end said.

"Huh? Well, I guess so."

"You'd better go catch it!"

"Ohmigod! Thanks!" Sora said. Sora closed his cell phone and ran out the door. Leon caught up with him and grabbed his jacket hood.

"Sora! What the hell are you doing? There's no heartless!"

"My nose is running! I've got to catch it!"

"Yeah, your nose IS running." Leon admitted, handing Sora a tissue he had gotten out of nowhere. "But, not running away." Sora took the tissue from Leon and blushed.

"Oops…"

-The Gummi Ship-

Demyx laid down on his bed and flipped his cell phone open.

"Too easy." He snickered. "Lesse…AXEL!"

-The Meeting Room-

Xemnas was lecturing on and on when Axel's cell phone rang.

"Superior? Can I answer this in here?"

"I guess so…It's most likely another prank call…" Xemnas sighed. Axel flipped his cell phone open.

"Talk to me." He said.

"Hi."

"Umm…hi. What do you want?"

"Hi."

"Really. Do you need anything? More importantly, who are you?"

"Hi."

"Say something else!"

"Something else. Hi."

"My God…are you going to talk to me?"

"Hi."

"Grr…"

"Bye." Click. Axel hit his head on the table.

"Prank call!" He moaned. "All they said was 'hi'!" Saix smiled.

"Well, let's get this meeting going, shall we?" He asked. About two minutes later, his cell phone rang.

"Answer it in here, Saix." Xemnas said.

"Will do." Saix said, flipping his cell phone open. "Yes?"

"Excuse me, but I'm looking for a Mr. Ahug, first name Ineed."

"Alright, I'll check." Saix answered. "Excuse me, but does anyone know Ineed Ahug?" Xemnas walked over and hugged Saix. "Wait…" Saix said after the Superior returned to his seat. "OHHH! I need a hug!" The voice on the other end was cracking up and hung up.

-The Gummi Ship-

"Priceless!" Demyx screamed, falling on his bed and shrieking in hysterics. "Okay, sorry Zexy-Chan…"

-The Meeting Room-

Zexion's cell phone rang.

"Yes…?" He said.

"Excuse me, but I'm looking for a Mr. Noyyin, first name Ima."

"Um…I'll…check…" Zexion said. "Excuse me, but does anyone know Ima Noyyin?"

"No." The Superior said. "I always thought that you were quite well-behaved…"

"Wait…a…minute…" Zexion said. "OHHH! I'm annoying!"

-The Gummi Ship-

Demyx was rolling around on his bed, laughing his ass off.

"Oh…oh shit!" He said, wiping his eyes. "Okay, Sora again!"

-Merlin's House-

Sora was MAD. Really mad. That stupid prank caller had made him look like an idiot. Oh, if he ever called back…! Sora's cell phone went off.

"Hello- ATCHOO!"

"Bless you. Is your nose running?"

"Thanks. Yes."

"Better go catch it!"

"Ack!" Sora screamed, running out the door. "NOSE! NOSE! COME BACK HERE!" He yelled, running out the door.

"Not again!" Leon said, running after him.

-Gummi Ship-

Demyx fell off his bed shrieking in hysterics.

"Oh…Lord…" He said, wiping his eyes. "Lexeaus!"

-The Meeting Room-

Lexeaus's cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Excuse me, but I'm looking for a Mr. Nlove, first initials I.M."

"Okay, I'll check. Hey guys! Does anyone know I.M. Nlove?"

"Who's the lucky guy?" Kitchi asked smirking.

"What? What's that…" Realization dawned on the Silent Hero. "Oh, shit! I am in love!"

-The Gummi Ship-

Demyx was laughing so hard he was crying.

"Oh my god!" He screamed, wiping his eyes. "Okay, SORA!"

-Merlin's House-

Sora's phone rang.

"Hello? ATCHOO!"

"Bless you. Is your nose running?"

"Thanks. Yeah."

"Better go catch it!"

"Thank you!" Sora ran out the door. "NOSE! NOSE! YOU'RE GROUNDED!" Sora yelled, chasing after his nose, which happened to be securely fashioned on his face.

"SORA!" Leon roared, chasing after him.

-Gummi Ship-

"This is too easy!" Demyx said. "Xaldin!"

-The Meeting Room-

Xaldin's cell phone went off.

"Yes?"

"Excuse me, but I'm looking for a Mr. Freely, first initials I.P."

"Alright, I'll check. Hey, Does anyone know I.P. Freely?"

"DUDE! We didn't need to know that!" Xigbar yelled, covering his ears.

"Wha…? Aww…SHIT! I can NOT believe I just said that!"

"Neither can I…" Kitchi said, recoiling in disgust.

-The Gummi Ship-

"Oh. My. GOD! I can't believe that Xaldin said that! Ahahahahahahaha!" Demyx screamed. "Sora!"

-Merlin's House-

Sora was tied to a chair when his cell phone rang. Using his Keyblade, he cut the ropes and answered the phone.

"Hello? ATCHOO!"

"Bless you. Is your nose running?"

"Thanks. Have we had this conversation before?"

"Umm…no? Umm…your…shipment of ridiculously tight leather pants just came in!"

"They DID? Are they hot pink, like Marluxia's?"

"What the…? I thought that Marluxia and Larxene were…oh, shit." Click. Sora looked at the phone.

-The Gummi Ship-

"Jeez…" Demyx said. "Mental note, NEVER prank call Sora again. Okay, Xigbar! He'll kill me, though…"

-The Meeting room-

Xigbar's cell phone went off.

"Yes?"

"Excuse me, but I'm looking for a Mr. Doofus, first name Ima."

"Okay, hang on. Hey! Do you know Ima Doofus?"

"Umm…Xigbar…" Kitchi began.

"Oh, shit! I'm a doofus!" Xigbar moaned, hitting his head on the table. Kitchi fell out of her chair laughing.

-The Gummi Ship-

"Meh…he IS a doofus…" Demyx muttered. "I know! I'll call Rii-Kun!"

-Hollow Bastion/Radiant Garden-

Riku's cell phone went off.

"Hello?"

"WHUZZUP?" The person on the other end screamed into the phone.

"Excuse me?"

"WHUZZUP?"

"You're a weirdo!"

"Tch…baka!" Click.

"Random…"

-The Gummi Ship-

"Hah…that sucked…oh, well. I'll call the Superior."

-The Meeting Room-

Xemnas's cell phone went off.

"Hello?"

"Excuse me, but I'm looking for a Mr. Girl, first name Ima."

"Okay. Hang on. Excuse me, but does anyone know Ima Girl?"

"I knew it…" Kitchi said.

"Wait…ARGH! I'm a girl!"

-The Gummi Ship-

"Well, that's everyone in Organization XIII with the exclusion of Vexen, me, and Kitchi." Demyx said with a smirk.

> > > > >

AN:  
JK: Okay, since I didn't update for a while, I thought all you faithful readers deserved a long chapter. Ineed Ahug, and I.P. Freely came from The Simpsons. The Sora x Marluixa thing was Sotto's idea. Next chapter: Busted!


	7. BUSTED!

AN:  
JK: Okay, this chapter is called _Busted! _for a reason. If you read, you'll find out.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Kitchi.

> > > > >

Vexen was getting a little nervous. Demyx hadn't bugged him for quite awhile, and every few minutes, or seconds, he would hear Demyx shrieking in hysterics over something.

(He doesn't have a television, so he can't be watching anything…he doesn't have a computer, so he can't be doing anything on the internet…what in Dark Dive is that boy DOING?) The scientist thought. Suddenly, his cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Vexen, it's the Superior."

"Ah. Hello, Superior."

"Vexen, has either you or Demyx been prank called?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

"Because, there's been several prank calls going on within Organization XIII, and we wanted to know."

"Hmm…no. Nothing happened here. But Demyx DID ask to call someone."

"Hang on, No. 4. Let me put you on speaker…lessee…ah! Here you go!"

"Alright. Let me get Demyx in here…" Vexen said, turning around. "Demyx? Demyx, could you come here, please?" Demyx walked in.

"Yo! Ya called?"

"Yes. Use proper language."

"Alright. What up, my homie?"

"WHAT IN DARK DIVE-"

"Hey! Chill! I was just kidding! Jeez!"

"Demyx, I'm the Chilly Academic. I know all about 'chill'."

"Dude, there's something wrong with you…"

"Hmph! Well, Superior, did you have something you wanted to ask Demyx?"

"Yeah. Who did he call? The person on the other end sounded strangely familiar…"

"Demyx? Who did you call?"

"Kit-Kat." Demyx said.

"Kit-Kat…? Oh, right. Kitchi-Chan…Well, I'll just see about that. Hand me your cell phone."

"My phone's MY business!" Demyx snapped.

"Demyx, hand me your phone right now." Vexen said sternly.

"No." Demyx said, sticking his tongue out at the older Nobody.

"Demyx!"

"No!"

"Demyx!" Vexen yelled, reaching over to take the cell phone.

"No! Hands off, you perverted old fart!"

"WHAT? Why you-" Vexen began, reaching down under the driver's seat and pulling a cane out. "I'm not old, you insolent whippersnapper!" Vexen yelled, hitting Demyx upside the head with the cane.

"Ow! Alright! I'll take it back! Here's my god damned phone!" Demyx screamed, tossing the phone at Vexen. Vexen put the cane away and opened Demyx's phone. "You're ANCIENT!" Demyx muttered, rubbing his head. WHACK! "Ow!"

"Alright. Demyx's past calls were…Xemnas, Riku, Xigbar, Sora, Xaldin, Sora, Lexeaus, Sora, Zexion, Saix, Axel, Sora, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, Roxas, Kitchi, and Kitchi again. Oh!"

"What is it, No. 4?"

"Demyx…is…Demyx knows sign language?"

"Demyx knows WHAT?"

"I…I don't know…but that…that means…stop…my eyes are on you dying? …Oh…oh…that means…shut up before I strangle you? …My! Demyx is violent! Oh…now he's…oh, that's not very polite."

"What? No. 4, give the phone to Demyx for a minute…"

"Alright. Here, Demyx."

"Yo?"

"DEMYX!" Every member of Organization XIII, with the exception of Kitchi since she's not a member and wasn't prank called, screamed into the phone, which happened to be right next to Demyx's ear.

"Owww…! My ear…!" Demyx said.

"No. 4? You can hang up now."

"Alright, Superior. Good-bye." Vexen hung up and looked at Demyx. "Prank phone calling?"

"Well…I…umm…"

"Room." Vexen said, pointing at the aqua colored door.

"Yes, sir…" Demyx muttered, walking to his room.

"And give me that phone."

"Aww…but, Vexen-"

"NOW!"

"Y-Yes sir!" Demyx said, hurriedly giving the scientist his phone and running into his room. Vexen put the phone in his pocket next to Demyx's mp3 player.

"I swear…kids these days have NO respect for their elders…" Vexen muttered.

> > > > >

AN:  
JK: Poor Ixi-Nii…Oh, yeah. I'm aware that cell phone normally show your last ten calls, but this is a fan fiction and I'm goofing off. NYAH!


	8. Landing

AN:  
JK: WHOOT! Okay. Next chappie.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

> > > >

"Demyx? Demyx, are you awake? Move your lazy ass out of bed! We've landed." Vexen called. Demyx muttered something that the writer can't put down because this fic is rated T. "What?" Vexen asked.

"Nothing." Vexen led Demyx outside to a beautiful world. "Wow…" Demyx said, admiring the sunset.

"Yes, yes. It's very pretty. Now, Demyx, I need you to observe your surroundings and write them all down on this piece of paper." Vexen said, handing Demyx a piece of paper and a pencil. "I'll give you your cell phone back so I can call you when it's time to leave."

"Thanks. Can I have my mp3 player back, please?" Demyx asked, taking his cell phone back.

"My! That was polite! Of course you can have it have back." Vexen said, handing the Melodious Nocturne his mp3 player back.

"Thanks…" Demyx muttered. When Vexen left, Demyx found a public restroom and spent five minutes washing his mouth out with soap. "Okay, that's better…" Demyx said, sticking his tongue out because of the taste. He wandered around aimlessly until he found an arts and crafts store. (Hey! Namine was running low on crayons and colored pencils! I can get her some more.) Demyx thought, walking into the store. He bought Namine the 100 pack of colored pencils and the 100 pack of crayons and he bought himself the standard 12 pack of colored pencils. (I'll draw a picture of the sunset since Namine isn't here, and she can draw it better when I get back!) Demyx thought with his trademark goofy grin.

-About Four Hours Later-

Vexen was PISSED. Demyx didn't answer ANY of his calls.

(Where in Dark Dive IS that boy?) Vexen thought. He decided to ask a woman on the street.

"Fresh fruit!" She was calling.

"Um, excuse me? I'm looking for someone…my son." (My SON? Where the hell did THAT come from? If Demyx was my son, he'd be MUCH more well-behaved.)

"Well, what does your son look like?"

"He's about 17 years old, has dirty blonde hair, about the same shade of mine, and it's in a mullet kind of style. He's wearing the same clothes as me and has aqua colored eyes. He's normally seen playing a blue sitar. Oh, yes! And he loves the water." Vexen explained. The woman thought for a moment.

"Do you have a picture?" She asked.

"Yes, actually." Vexen said, reaching in his pocket. Every member had a picture of each other in case of emergencies like this. The Chilly Academic pulled out a picture of Demyx and handed it to the woman.

"Umm, yes. I've seen him. He's down by the river. I'll take you." The woman said, handing Vexen his picture back. Vexen breathed a sigh of relief and followed the woman. When they got down to the river, Vexen decided to act like he WAS, god forbid, Demyx's father. Demyx had his back to them, and he was admiring the sunset.

"Demyx?" Vexen asked cautiously. Demyx turned around.

"Hi, Vexen! I thought you were going to call m- mmph!" Demyx was cut off when Vexen hugged him.

"Demyx, I was so worried!" Vexen said. "I was looking EVERYWHERE for you!"

"V-Vexen! What the hell?" Demyx asked, trying to push the older Nobody off him. Vexen backed up and glared at the younger Nobody.

"Don't you DARE run away again! Now, come on! Your mother is worried sick!" Vexen said, grabbing Demyx by the wrist, pulling him up, and dragging him behind.

"M-My mother? Vexen, did you fall down a set of stairs and land on your head?" Demyx asked.

"Thank you, ma'am. I was afraid we'd lost him." Vexen said, handing the woman a large sum of munny.

"Oh, thank you sir!" The woman gushed. Vexen dragged Demyx back to the gummi ship and got in.

"Dude, you have ISSUES!" Demyx spat.

"I swear you're Xigbar's son…" Vexen muttered. "Demyx, you MUST stop going AWOL."

"I wasn't AWOL! I was just absent without leave!"

"Demyx! That's what AWOL stands for!"

"I know. I'm just trying to get on your nerves."

"It's working…"

"I'm getting that feeling. If you need me, I'll be in my room."

> > > >

AN:  
JK: Okay, there should be one more chapter and then a sequel. I'm not quite sure what to call it yet, though. Sorry. The AWOL comment was from _MASH_.


	9. Why Me?

AN:  
JK: Okay, this is the last chapter. There's something in here for Sotto, too.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Kitchi.

> > > > >

In the meeting room, Vexen and Demyx were going to tell the Organization about their mission.

"I found that the natives are quite friendly, and also quite poor." Vexen said.

"They… have…beautiful sunsets…" Demyx yawned. He had spent the ENTIRE ride home asleep. "Oh, yeah, where Nami-Chan?"

"Who?" Xemnas asked.

"Namine." Kitchi said. Marluxia walked out of the room and came back with the startled artist.

"Y-You wanted to see me, Demyx?"

"Yeah, I got you more art supplies." Demyx said, handing Namine a bag.

"Thank you!" Namine said, smiling.

"Alright, now that that's out of the way, Vexen, do you have your report?"

"Yes, Superior." Vexen said. Demyx's eyes widened.

"Oops!"

"Demyx, did you forget?"

"Um…does a drawing of the sunset count?" Demyx asked sheepishly, a small blush forming across his cheeks. Everyone sighed.

"Demyx, for the last time, you HAVE to give a report!"

"Sorry."

"Can I see the picture?" Namine asked. Demyx handed her the picture.

"I figured you could re-draw it."

"I don't need to! I-It's perfect!" Namine said. She turned the picture around to reveal a perfect drawing of a sunset on the river Demyx was at. It was even colored in.

"Holy shit!"

"I took an art class in elementary school." Demyx said shyly.

"Umm…well…I suppose I can pardon you since you gave us a good idea of the world…" Xemnas said, clearing his throat. "But, you'll still have to be punished for all those prank phone calls." Demyx hung his head in mock shame.

"Yes, sir…"

"Dismissed."

-The Living Room, Later That Evening-

"Where's Demyx?" Xigbar asked. Vexen looked up from his newspaper and stopped rubbing Zexion's forehead. Zexion looked slightly annoyed.

"I think he's grounded." Vexen said. Zexion grabbed his arm and pulled. "Alright, alright." Vexen started stroking Zexion's forehead again. Zexion purred.

"Vexen?" Xemnas said, walking in the room. Before he could continue, though, Namine walked in the room holding her cell phone.

"Excuse me, I hate to interrupt, but does anyone know a Hugh Jazz?"

"Demyx." Xemnas said. "Wait…"

"DEMYX!" Everyone roared. Namine took a step backwards.

"Namine, hand me your phone." Xemnas said. Namine timidly handed Xemnas the phone. "Demyx, you rotten brat! I told you no more prank phone calls! Come down here right now!" Xemnas yelled into the phone. Demyx ran down the stairs laughing.

"Yes?" He asked. Xemnas gave Namine her phone back and nodded at Xigbar, who smirked and took his guns out. Demyx meeped and ran out the door with Xigbar chasing him.

"Now that that's over with, Vexen?"

"Yes, Superior?" Vexen said, scratching Zexion behind the ears and making him purr.

"We all need to go to that-"

"KYAAAAHHH!" Demyx screamed. Everyone looked at the door.

"Alright, let's try to ignore that. Now-" Another scream cut Xemnas off. Annoyed, he closed the door. "Now, anyway, we all need to-" Yet another scream cut Xemnas off. "Should I tell No. 2 to stop?"

"I don't know…" Vexen said, moving his hand off Zexion's back for a moment.

"Ah!" Zexion said, tugging on Vexen's arm. Vexen started rubbing his back again.

"Hmph…No. 2?" Xemnas said, walking out the door. "That's quite enough." Xigbar walked in carrying Demyx. "Alright, then. For the next mission, we will all go to the world that you just observed."

"Superior?" Kitchi asked.

"Yes, Kitchi?"

"Since Demyx got so bored, can I bring a few friends?"

"Of course. Vexen, you'll have to watch them, of course." Xemnas said. Vexen sighed and patted Zexion's back

"Why me?" He moaned.

> > > > >

AN:  
JK: Okay, end of _Why Me? _I hope you'll look for the sequel. Zexion was acting like my pet bunny the way he wanted Vexen to keep rubbing his forehead, his back, and scratching behind his ears. The Hugh Jazz thing was from _The Simpsons. _Later!


End file.
